Archive | June 2013


Sometimes the deepest, hidden parts of me that are hard to express pour out of me in the form of poetry. Have you written artistically about a struggle or fear? Share in the comments section!

Daddy Broke My Heart

Unveiled I stand, in the midst of a grand audience of onlookers, feelers, supporters, and my own fear…
Revealed by the ache in my voice, emotions in a haze, my vision unclear.
Naked without the covering of my lies
The lies I told myself to hide
Hide from the reality outside the walls
The walls that stall the people who surround me
from reaching me…who I am beneath
Beneath the façade of carefree
Woe is not the load I carry
But my definition of freedom is limited to the anxiety of being betrayed by somebody
Because no one owes me more than the man who walked away from me
The man who bore me with his own flesh and yet
Alone without him and any hope of ever knowing what trust looks like
Estranged from my faith in possibility
I drown my self in the very thing that keeps…

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Music Monday: Healing Begins

Healing begins when you accept the Light, Jesus Christ, into the dark part of your heart where anger, bitterness, denial, and disgust live. Asking God for help is where healing begins. Start your journey from hurt to healed today!

Daddy Broke My Heart

Today I will be celebrating receiving my graduate degree with my dad. I informed him last week when he called on New Year’s Eve that I finished school and he immediately grabbed his calendar to write-in a time for us to connect which falls on today.

The song that comes to mind is “This is where the healing begins…” This will be the first time that I’ve seen him since starting the DBMH Project 5 months ago. As I reflected in the last entry, I felt different listening to him on the phone this time. There’s nothing personal brewing under the surface. I feel free. No better way to describe it now…

The song says you have to let the secrets out because there is freedom waiting in the sound! I believe that through airing the disappointments and concerns, you can choose to leave them behind you and walk forward…

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Love Inspires

If you ask for a little bit of love and nurture it with positive action and patience, the little love will grow and become more than you could have imagined from the start. Being abandoned by your dad is betrayal, because he should have stayed. He stole your heart and killed your confidence. Loving a traitor, thief, or killer is hard… but possible. Ask God to help you forgive and learn to love him. Ask God to make you bleed love like Christ did on the cross… let that love inspire others to see the benefit of reconciliation and forgiveness… and also… yourself.

(That’s what love does!)

Daddy Broke My Heart

We’ve done a few different reflections on love over the past few weeks. First we covered what love is, defining love as unconditional and absolutely giving without exception. Love is a vast subject and we could blog everyday for the rest of the year on qualities and effects of love and hardly make a dent into the true deepness of love. Love is infinite, and yet, the limitless nature of love inspires us to do better, live better, and be better. Love wakes up hope and urges faith to persevere through all obstacles. Love energizes the faint heart to hold on through the darkest of nights for the dawn. Love pushes the wounded to a safe haven of rest and healing. Love inspires generosity from abundance and sharing from loss. Love keeps you moving when countless others have stopped. Love inspires change for the good through patience and kindness.

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Love’s Biggest Frustration

We often think of ourselves when we hear the word “frustration” … “Oh, I know what that’s like…”; “People are frustrating…”;”I try not to be frustrated, etc.” However, how often do we consider the people we frustrate? How do we adapt our behavior to alleviate this feeling we know so well? Did you know love is at the root of frustration? Evil surmisers don’t have the compassionate energy to be frustrated with someone they do not care about.

Think about it.

Daddy Broke My Heart

Unrequited love is the biggest frustration anyone can face. When you care deeply for someone, you want them not to simply care a little, but care just as much as you do… or more! As sons and daughters, we are frustrated when our dads fail to show that they care. The mixture of anger and sadness causes a deep resentment that makes us want to build walls and close ourselves off.

What we do not often consider is the reactive effect of our decisions.

When a father neglects or disappoints his child, the negative feelings affect the son or daughter.

When the son or daughter closes up and retreats, this hurts them and whoever their life partner is/will be because instead of choosing to address the problem, frustration causes them to hide from the issue. Conflict avoidance… 

The ultimate breech is in the relationship you have with God the Father…

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Music Monday: New Man

How much clearer can it get? Without dad, there is a listless sense of misdirection that creates an emotional cloud that fogs the vision of introspection.

Listen in and embrace the solution… With a New Life comes a New Father.

Here’s some commentary about the song from the lead singer and author.

I can remember when he left
It’s still pounding in my chest
The pain I felt when he said goodbye
All the nights I tried to call
Cause I needed a father’s love
To cheer me on, to lift me up, to be my guide

I try to find my worth
In things that didn’t work
My confidence was broken
I was hopeless

But God, You have made me new
You’ve restored my heart and
Turned these ashes into life
Oh God, You have pulled me through
And everything I was is gone
And washed away for good
I’m a new man in You

I’m trying to walk as a new man
I want You to show me who I am
In You when I forget that I’m Yours
Now I find my worth and it’s set in stone
And it’s done for good

Cause God, You have made me new
You’ve restored my heart and
Turned these ashes into life
Oh God, You have pulled me through
And everything I was is gone
And washed away for good
I’m a new man in You

Oh God, You have made me new
You’ve restored my heart and
Turned these ashes into life
Oh God, You have pulled me through
And everything I was is gone
And washed away for good
And everything I was is gone
And washed away for good
I’m a new man in You

Full Music Video of New Man Below:

Fear of Rejection

We can walk as far as we take ourselves. We can run as far as we push ourselves. We can be whoever we think ourselves to be. We are accepted by the King, whether we can imagine it so or not. We are loved without question. We are strong outside our own inventions… Fear has no place here. Let go of your fear.

Daddy Broke My Heart

Our parents are supposed to love us. Even the media, as twisted and backwards as it is, confirms that parents are to love and care for their children. Anything less is villainous and criminal. So, what do you say to a child who has a parent walk away from them and never look back? How do you explain a dad who has no interest in your life? How do you process that every word out of his mouth saying anything otherwise is a lie?

As children, we desperately need stability to stay balanced. Disturbances to our equilibrium cause an emotional imbalance that reverberate throughout our lives. Ever wonder why perfectly capable people with loads of potential settle for less? Less comes easy. This plays out among emotionally imbalanced people with a fear of rejection as an expression of personal interest instead of what it really is: fear.

Examples spread all…

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