Archive | May 2013

Hurt and the Healer by MercyMe

You can live in the midst of something that was once dead with the help and the power of Jesus Christ. Let your world collide with The Healer and be refreshed, renewed…redeemed!

Daddy Broke My Heart

Lyrics and Reflection:

Why? >> Often we ask “Why?” when we are faced with what we feel is unjust. How could God allow this to happen to me? On the other side of my situation, I see that this question is a tell-tale sign of a lack of trust in God’s omnipotent control and master plan. Beware the temptation to question what the Lord allows. There is always a reason! Romans 8:28

The question that is never far away
The healing doesn’t come from being explained >>Lord knows that we can KNOW for years what is to be done and lack the strength to follow through. Remember the scripture from which we can draw our strength in confidence, knowing God stands on His Word and delivers on His promises without fail.

Jesus please don’t let this go in vain
You’re all I have
All that remains

So here…

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Evil Coffee Beans

Whenever I’m around people who love coffee (which is quite often), I’m reminded of the way anger works in a child’s mind. I disdained the thought of ever drinking it myself simply because of my father’s undying love for the bean. This knowledge of the reaches of serious anger displacement creates an awareness in me to see beyond the surface with other people. Ask questions like, “Is there a reason why you dislike…?”
Any answer that begins outside of a persons tastes, preferences, or experience could be part of a broken perspective aided by displaced unaddressed emotions.

Daddy Broke My Heart

Dunkin’ Donuts coffee is bad. Starbucks is the worst. I’ll smash empty cups. Tear cardboard heat protector cup holders. I gag at the smell of fresh ground. Have I tasted it? Never. But why should I have to?! It’s addictive and drives people wreckless tearing apart families.

Sound a bit over the top? Of course it is! But you could never convince the 9-15yr. old Keila any different. My family would be eating ground turkey and rice for dinner while my dad took from the grocery fund to buy his precious cups of coffee. Coffee from the home pot wouldn’t suffice. No, his cups had to come from the coffee shop and the more expensive the cup, the better. His cravings were insatiable during the times my mother hated it most.

Dunkin’ coffee is bad. Starbucks is worst.

“Have a sip…” My father leans over to offer me the bitter…

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Music Monday: Blown Away by Carrie Underwood

Are you waiting for everything left standing from yesterday to be bloooown awaaaaay? Here is a reblog of a song Dr. Caleb prefaced well. Change your life song ending!

Daddy Broke My Heart

When asked what the first image was when the word pain was said, my friend saw her father.
Restoration according to Merriam-Webster (version c): a restoring to an unimpaired or improved condition.
Many daughters today get stuck in the belief that restoration is not for everyone and/or not even possible in certain situations. I disagree… in fact, I strongly disagree.
This song was written in the depths of pain but I am certain the story does not have to end with the last verse. Time to for you to write the next song with your own lyrics.
Here’s “Blown Away” by Carrie Underwood
Dry lightning cracks across the skies
Those storm clouds gather in her eyes
Her daddy was a mean old mister
Mama was an angel in the ground
The weather man called for a twister
She prayed blow it down
There’s not enough rain in Oklahoma
To wash the…

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No Expectations

In light of this past weekend’s events, I feel it is extremely relevant to repost it. My dad promised to come to my graduation. I actually believed that he would come. I had no reason to doubt he would, I mean… He came to my undergrad ceremony. He even mentioned that he would because of the fact that as my dad, he HAD to be there. Yet, the day came and he did not. But you know what’s absolutely wonderful about loving without expectations? When I discovered he’d left the promised cash in a card with my brother the day before, I realized two things.

1. That I was not upset that he didn’t call to tell me he knew he’d miss ahead of time…for whatever reason.
2. He did care enough to deliver on half his promise.
Something is better than nothing. I’m grateful and blessed to be free of the hurt that comes with bitterness. I’m free of disappointment beyond wishing I had a good picture with him. I’m free.

No expectations. Best way to live. You can hope without assuming any obligation on anyone. That’s love.

Daddy Broke My Heart

So if unconditional love expects nothing in return… what does that look like?

Take mother’s love as an example. Any good mother will feed, care for, clean, and protect their child regardless of the kid’s temperament. Sure, it’s easier to care for a laid back, calm child. But a screaming, constantly dissatisfied child will still endlessly receive love and care.

Enter a deadbeat dad.

Loving a dad who is not around can be hard to fathom, but the key is showing him care and concern during the times you can. His birthday. His random visits (if ever). Holidays.

Many times, men are afraid of rejection. Men are terrified of being a failure. Men can also be in denial about their responsibilities. Definitely a dead beat dad.

When you show love and affection, you open a door for honest vulnerability in that your dad cannot use the excuse that your life…

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Courage to Heal

In light if the recent testimony of courage and healing from Tara, I want to encourage other readers going through your own storm to put away your hurt feelings and reach beyond your grasp to a new state of being. Be brave and make a change in your life by taking control of the story and influencing it for good. By your own faith and actions are you healed!
Love always,

Daddy Broke My Heart

“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.” – Tori Amos

No one is saying that choosing to heal is easy… but it is a choice, and yes, it does take courage. But why put off for later what you so desperately need now? The past is gone and the present is all you have. What’s coming to you is the future… wouldn’t it be nice to look out for your future self and do the hard stuff now? Trust me, you will be thankful you did.

Take courage. Try. No excuses. Your wellbeing and long term happiness is your reason why. Choose to be healed today.

Courage to Heal

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Testimony Tuesday

Tara shared her evolving story before on the blog back in October.  She reached out again to us to share her the follow up on her story and we applaud her for the courage and vulnerability to share so openly with you all today. Go back and read what she wrote then and how far she’s come to now. Leave a comment to reach her about her testimony.

As I have continued to talk with my father and build a stronger relationship, I have learned so many things about him. The most important thing is that he has really reinforced that he loved my sisters and I and never wanted to be apart from us. He tells me how difficult [our separation] was. I truly believe that he is telling the truth because I can feel his love even when we are apart. He takes the time to talk to me about everything, answering whatever questions I ask him.

As I grow and mature in my own life, my understanding of life becomes clearer. I have gained understanding through digging through my own emotional garbage. Peeling away layers of hurt, grief, lies, and disappointments that I have allowed on my back. I even wonder sometimes, did Daddy break my heart… or Mommy? I know she thought she was doing the best for us at that time but in the long run, I was hurt.

I recently just found out that my dad has cancer, which runs very strongly on that side of the family. When He told me I was shocked, hurt and the though of the big “C” word was in my face and I was scared. I quickly prioritized some things and made some clear decisions. What was done in the past, the things that should have been done, who said what and did not say this or that was no longer important. I love him and all those things from before will not have a place in my life. The time in my life is NOW! THIS MOMENT AND THE FUTURE WITH HIM IS NOW!!!

I love my daddy. Through God’s Grace, love, and Word, I have been recreated with His love and His powerful ability to forgive. I have learned to love people where they are in this long journey of life. Mothers, when you have children, please be selfless. Remember, he is the man you chose to father your children. Do not deny them the right to have a relationship with their father if it is within your power to connect them. Regardless of who may be at fault, I love both my parents and I forgive them both. If either of them left this world today never to return again I want to have peace in my heart by forgiving them both.

Thank you, DBMH Project, for allowing me to let go and heal through your blog. I’m also hoping to help others heal. God Bless!!

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Music Monday – Rolling Stone by Out of Eden

Was your papa a rolling stone?
This song is appropriately made the first to be featured on the blog because it encapsulates what the DBMH project is all about. Daddy broke my heart but my Heavenly Father heals the wounds he left behind and gives us grace to carry on.

Daddy Broke My Heart

October introduces the DBMH first theme: Music Mondays!

Feel free to send your favorite songs that have dad themes and we will feature the music on Music Mondays. Add your thoughts and get those featured along with the video.

Email to submit the song.

This week’s song is a throwback. I used to listen to this and find hope in that my Father in heaven trumps my dad on all levels. He cares for me and that’s all that matters.

Sitting on the front porch,
Waiting for you to come home.
Visions of reuniting in my head.
Only bitter-sweet memories, no holidays, no Christmas trees.
Broken promises I’ve got instead.

How I used to wonder, “Where did I go wrong?
How you could have stayed away so long?”
Thank God for my mother,
Her’s was no easy song.
Thank God that He showed me how to get along.


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