Fear of Rejection
Our parents are supposed to love us. Even the media, as twisted and backwards as it is, confirms that parents are to love and care for their children. Anything less is villainous and criminal. So, what do you say to a child who has a parent walk away from them and never look back? How do you explain a dad who has no interest in your life? How do you process that every word out of his mouth saying anything otherwise is a lie?
As children, we desperately need stability to stay balanced. Disturbances to our equilibrium cause an emotional imbalance that reverberate throughout our lives. Ever wonder why perfectly capable people with loads of potential settle for less? Less comes easy. This plays out among emotionally imbalanced people with a fear of rejection as an expression of personal interest instead of what it really is: fear.
Examples spread all throughout every aspect of a person’s life. The job chosen by this type of person is not based on capacity of ability and room to grow but rather accessibility within the comfort zone of what he or she already knows. Anything too new or risky is too scary. Why put yourself out on a limb and hope when someone else can dash it to the ground? Going after professions that are easy to reach are also easy to get over if they don’t work out.
See how this applies to relationships as well? This person will shy away from the type of person that he or she inherently feels he/she does not deserve. This person thinks he/she does not deserve said person because deep down he/she does not think said person will want him/her anyway. Though it will never be admitted as such, anyone would be able to attest to this mindset looking at the patterns of his or her relationships. Take Lindsay, for example, who is prone to choose men who make her feel needed in the relationship. She thinks that the more he needs her, the less chance of him breaking up with her. She recognizes his needs and seeks to fill them to show him how valuable she is to him. But this often backfires where the man of choice will take Lindsay for granted and make Lindsay feel like she is not needed in his life at all. This creates the paradigm of being rejected while chosen. He would be a fool to break up with her, and yet he makes her feel like a worthless girlfriend. Lindsay is more afraid of being alone again than leaving this type of man. She would rather stick it out and hope he changes, than venture off solo and look for someone better. What if no one else wants her?
The fear of rejection puts a ceiling on your dreams, locks doors of opportunity, and traps you inside vicious cycles of insanity.
Have you ever seen someone stuck because they were afraid of the unknown? Afraid to leave the one when he or she could change for the better? Afraid of trying and failing? Flip the script. Be afraid that if you don’t try, you’ll miss out on the best thing that could ever happen to you. Be afraid to stay with someone who might never change and will always make you miserable.
Be afraid of never truly being happy if you don’t change your own destiny.
Be afraid of being controlled by your fear.
Because the one thing scarier than what could be is missing out on the good that could have been.