Music Monday Reflection: Arms by Christina Perri

Today’s post is about another effect of growing up without a dad invested in your life.

As a disclaimer, I don’t know Christina Perri. We have never had the chance to chat about her dad, but based on the theme in her music, it doesn’t seem like a long shot to say that this woman has daddy issues. (I do stand to be corrected, but the evidence in her music speaks to the deepest parts of understanding inside of me. It is what it is. More than half of us have daddy issues so the odds are in my favor.)

Every time I hear either of her songs Jar of Hearts or Arms, I get the feeling that Christina has been hurt deeply and wants to love and trust someone with her heart… but is hesitant. The what ifs scare her.

I’m not going to input the music video, but here are some of the lyrics to support my observations.

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I’m home

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?
I can’t decide if I’ll let you save my life or if I’ll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me ’cause I’m already falling
I’ll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I’m home

The care and support of someone who loves her makes her feel at home. Though we wish for our loved ones to see right through our walls, they cannot understand without explanation. Sometimes we will feel like we’ve been obvious about what we need and how we feel, but without overtly expressing it… they miss it. Not only apply in romantic relationships, but in friendships as well. If you want people to know where you are, tell them. The chances of someone inherently knowing without you telling them is slim to none and not a fair expectation to put on someone from the start. — She goes on to write:

The world is coming down on me and I can’t find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can’t make you bleed if I’m alone

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go… …

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I’ve never opened up
I’ve never truly loved ’til you put your arms around me
And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go

Why do we believe it’s easy for people to move on from us? Well, when we are looking from the perspective of having a father who bore us with his own flesh walking away without explanation, how could we expect anyone else to do anything less?

Stop treating yourself like you are not the priceless gem you are. Your father is/was delusional for having ever left you or treating you like you don’t matter. Embrace the truth: you are worthy to be loved and cherished. You deserve a loyal love that knows no other equal to you. The songwriter found herself in the arms of the man that made her question her “self-preservation” practices. Find yourself while you are still alone, that way no one can ever take your discovery away from you or make you question it.

I found my self-worth and value in Jesus Christ. He promised to love me and never forsake me. He promises to always be there and He always has been. No one can take that away from me. I don’t care what anyone says or does, this truth stands sure forever.

Where do you find your self-worth? What types of feelings surface reading the lyrics of this song?

Share in the comments section! I’d love to hear your insights.



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About Keila Harris

An MBA graduate with an unparalleled ability to keep a team focused on the goal with clear deliverables to produce for specific results. I am a self-starter. I began a nonprofit organization in 2012 called the DBMH Project, Inc. and then authored a book as well. I love the intersection of business and technology and solving problems alongside colleagues dedicated to their work. I like to focus on growth strategies through SMART goals and accountability. I believe power is in the execution of constant learning and open, humble self-improvement. Therefore I read incessantly and expand my network at every opportunity. #PayItForward #SuccessIsTheJourney

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