Mr. Legs and The Art of Loving
Mr. Legs in Italy many years ago is now a confused father.
What a way to start a blog… you are probably more curious than anything else but this story is a good one. In the past few months I have befriended this beautiful, five foot tall, Costa Rican girl; slowly her story began to unravel as our friendship developed.
I met this friend, Chela, at the clinic I am at right now. Soon after being introduced, I got her number and invited her to a monster truck rally… I guess you could say that our friendship was birthed out of a hill-billy craze. That Saturday I drove my Honda Civic up her house to pick her up; little did I know this short Costa Rican girl had a story I could hardly wrap my mind around.
Chella’s mom, let’s call her Ma, was born and raised in Costa Rica; at a young age she fell in love with a man but unfortunately was left empty-handed at the end of it. Soon after, she met an Italian, got married, and lives in Costa Rica. They have four children and after a number of years move to the US. From a young age, the children know their father as the man who brought presents home from various cities that his job took him to. He was never around; he knows his children only by the few days he spent with them at a time.
Here is where it gets interesting; of those four children, only one looked like an Italian. As the children went to school and matured in the US, they began to wonder why they did not look like their father. Although genetically confused, they only knew one man as their father, an Italian traveler. A few years later, he retired; the world caught up to him and, at last, he stayed home only to realize being a dad meant more than buying gifts. He has to actually show love in a different way.
He never did.
Fast forward to today. Chella now lives with friends after moving out of her father’s house. The old Italian man told his daughters he should not have raised them, he left them feeling abandoned even with his daughters there next to him.
Chella’s dad is the italian… she didn’t pick him, he is not the donor of her genetics, and she loves him in the midst of who he is.
We can not choose our fathers and our fathers don’t choose us. Love can be easy, but it is also a choice. At no point did Chella decide to have a father who wasn’t there or disconnected biologically. She loved him inspite of his absence and in spite of his view towards them.
As for Mr. Legs, it must be horrible knowing you didn’t seed the children you tried raising but that does not mean they are not your children. Love them. They need you.