Music Monday: Just Another Birthday

I’ve featured this song on the Facebook page before, but wanted to bring it back and comment on the effects of unmet expectations from dads.

Yearning for love from someone who denies you makes you thirsty.

Yes, thirsty.  As we have stated many times before, the desire to be loved and celebrated (especially on special days) from your father is natural. Without the attention, we do not just simply look for alternative fillers, we desperately grasp at anyone who might take even the slightest interest in us. Our low sense of self-worth causes us to lower our standards (if we maintain any) to let anyone who wants to love us in. We grow attached and ignore all the red flags and warning signs along the way. We rationalize away all of the reasons why it’s okay for any mistreatment, disrespect, or any less-than-ideal situation.

Often times, we give ourselves completely away, emotionally, physically, and spiritually to men who take advantage of the thirst for attention. Many times, this leads to premarital sex. We bare our souls hoping the love making fills our yearning for the hugs, kisses, and pats on the back our fathers neglect to give us. We give ourselves over and over again hoping there will be the slightest improvement in the hallow way we feel.  The staggering fact is that with each night in bed with a man while you’re in this condition, be he good to you or bad to you, will leave you emptier instead. From dehydrated to a desert wasteland, you crumble on the inside.

Then life appears. In the midst of a hopeless, discouraging, and depressing situation that makes women feel completely worthless, something wonderful and terrifying happens in the womb. Out of the fragmented being of the mother, hope the size of a fingernail makes her feel important even through such illegitimate means. But she can never offer the love of a father to that child. She’ll hurt every time she has to explain why daddy doesn’t love his baby. (Sometimes a man will rise to the occasion of fatherhood, but the vast majority will shirk away. Fact.)

There is also the woman who feels unable to handle the responsibility and she craves under the pressure to end the life of her child. She does so to rid herself of the fear of being an awful parent and instead adopts a lifetime of guilt and emptiness.

Before it gets here, allow God to fill the longings of your heart. Only He can make you whole.

Only he can fill the the thirsting of your soul.

He gives living water where you will thirst no more.

Sixteen finds me
Blowing out candles and making wishes
And all around me
Is everyone but the one I’m wishing for
And he sent me flowers
And gift-wrapped excuses
From a daddy whose daughter
Wants to see him again

And I know, I know
It’s just another birthday
But I guess I thought
This would be the one
When he would call me, see me
Hold me and free me
But it’s just another birthday

And I’ll be fine
I’ll be fine

Nineteen finds me
And I’m wild-eyed and wide open
I gave myself away to love
But backseat promises fade like a mist
I’m screaming at the midnight air
Everyone hears me but I don’t care
My heart’s clenched just like a fist
‘Cause, people, I didn’t ask for any of this
And I’m not fine
I’m not fine

In the company of strangers
In a cold and sterile room
All alone with a child inside me
And I don’t know what to do
Jesus, can You hear me
Come and heal my brokenness
Put the pieces back together
And be a Father to the fatherless

Twenty-one finds me
Blowing out candles and making wishes
And all around me
My barefoot princess twirls and sings
It’s so amazing
Looking back at all God’s brought us through
You are my happy birthday
And you were born to break the chains

Now I know, I know
It’s not just another birthday
‘Cause I’m here, she’s here
And look how far we’ve come
Since you’ve called me, saw me
Held me and freed me
Thank you, Lord, for another birthday
And we’ll be fine
We’ll be fine

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About Keila Harris

An MBA graduate with an unparalleled ability to keep a team focused on the goal with clear deliverables to produce for specific results. I am a self-starter. I began a nonprofit organization in 2012 called the DBMH Project, Inc. and then authored a book as well. I love the intersection of business and technology and solving problems alongside colleagues dedicated to their work. I like to focus on growth strategies through SMART goals and accountability. I believe power is in the execution of constant learning and open, humble self-improvement. Therefore I read incessantly and expand my network at every opportunity. #PayItForward #SuccessIsTheJourney

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