Tuesday Testimonial from Tara
We are very excited to share with you a guest post testimonial from a woman named Tara.
She sent us a message on our Facebook page and gave us permission to share this with you all today. We’d love to hear from any of you as well… please feel free to inbox us on Facebook or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to be featured on an upcoming Tuesday!
First I want to congratulate all of you on this FABULOUS, WONDERFUL project. This will bring healing to sooo many that need it. I speak many, many blessing over all of you and this wonderful project in Jesus name!
My mother and father divorced when I was five years old. I remember coming home from
kindergarten and my mom was crying while my dad and his brother were sitting in the living room. He told my sister that he was not going to live with us anymore. He was moving to California. At that time I do not believe I really understood what that meant and how that would deeply impact my life until I was into my late 20’s.
I remember as a child growing up with my both of my parents, I rarely remember my dad being home and when he was, my parents were always arguing and Dad would leave… though this time all night, with Mom crying all night. My mom was sad all the time.
My sister and I spent all lot of time at my grandmother’s (my dad’s mom) while my dad was in California, and we got to talk with him. As time eventually moved on, my mother’s life did as well and she met my stepfather with whom she is married to today.
As we girls grew up with our stepfather, a great wonderful man. We all consider him to be our father due to the fact that he cared for us like a dad. He talked to us, taught us, and loved us as his own. Our biological father was mostly absent. Though he would call from time to time. I do remember when he did, my mother and he would still argue a lot because he was not paying his child support. I remember being so exciting to talk to him but also being upset at the feeling of my sisters and I being neglected. Grown People issues need to be just that. They should not talked about or dealt with around kids nor should they interfere with relationship of the child and parent.
I carried hurt around for years. Due to all their bickering back and forth and other issues, I did not see my dad for 10 years when his mom, my beloved grandmother, passed away. My grandmother cared for my sisters and I when we were babies until we were about 5. We spent a lot of time with her and my grandfather and family. That all came to a screeching hault when my mom remarried. My sister and I could not understand why we were not allowed to go see them and why did mom have to discuss this with her new husband? How many ways can you say PAIN????
So as I grew up and started to live life and go through life something was missing but I did not have a clue what is was. I had very good life but I still continued to search and search for years. I was raised in church, seeking God was how I was taught. I starting listening to my all time favorite, Bishop T.D. Jakes on TV when I was about 25. Bishop Jakes talked about how important it is to have fathers and mothers in the home. When you do not, the children grieve and grow up with a void, trust issues, and many other difficulties, like life is not hard enough.
It started to hit me that my problem was deep rooted and that I truly missed my dad. By this time my dad had moved back here from California. We talked from time to time but nothing like I wanted it to be. I thought that since he was the adult parent that he would make all the moves to form a relationship with his kids. Boy, was I wrong. My uncle, my dad’s brother, lived down the street from me. I would see my dad going down to my uncle’s house and he would not even stop over just to say hey. I became angry with him because I love him still so much. I became angry and stubborn for a very short time.
As a woman trying to align her life up with the Lord’s, I knew that I had to forgive him. So I forgave him and called to talked to him and I cried and told him how I felt and how much I love him and have missed him all my life. That I did not care what him and mom went through that it did not matter, all that matters is that he knows I love him even though he was absent and did not call or whatever.
That night released all that pain. We cried. He told me he loved me and he explained some things. I explained somethings. Now we love. We do not talk still as much as we should but we do talk, we know we love one another. My dad is getting up in age so I do try to make a better effort to talk to him more. That period when we should have been bounding was lost due to grown up issues by adults that did not realize the pain they left to their children to deal with. I know my mother did not realize this for the simple fact she grew up with her mother and father in the home. She does not understand when I talk to her about it.
We have to forgive our parents. We expect them to have it all together when they have us. A lot of times though they do not. They are just walking along the path ahead of them, making mistakes but doing their best. Sometimes we think our parents are mature when they have children but many times they still children themselves.
God is your Daddy. Although it is important to know your earthly father if possible. But if not, your heavenly Father awaits you with open arms.
He loves you dearly. —Tara