Unresolved issues leak into other areas of our lives so deeply that we are incapable of seeing the connection.
The first domino is so far from the last. How could they possibly be connected?
Glossing over past hurts can open you up to new pain from different sources. Different dominoes. One source.
Think of the original piece as an infection. If the infection is never fully treated, you never truly heal. As dominoes fall, you carry the disease. Whether you are physically affected or not, you are a walking time bomb of disaster waiting to happen with the culmination of vulnerable moments combining into the explosion of symptoms.
Tipping Point: a dad neglects his daughter.
Domino 1: She feels like she has to go over and beyond to be noticed.
Domino 2: She feels distrustful of people who validate her. If she were worthy of validation, surely, her dad would have told her so.
Domino 3: She pushes people away when they get too close to her.
Domino 4: She is uncomfortable with emotional intimacy because the hurt in being let down is too much to bear. Afterall, she lets herself down enough as it is. No need to give anyone else the chance.
Domino 5: She denies that her father’s neglect affects her in the least bit. If daddy were to ask, “Do you know how much I love you?” She would answer, “Yes.” Without hesitation, knowing she longs to hear an explanation. She would lie to please him instead of tell the truth to please herself.
Imagine her in the workplace.
Imagine her friendships.
Imagine her marriage.
Everything within reach of the falling domino pieces are being affected by the tipping point of that original neglect. Her survival technique is self-destructive and she is unable to see it. She refuses to see it because the truth might hurt the very one she is trying to impress: her dad. Sad part is that he does not see it. Thus, the cycle continues.
Be honest. If you catch the first piece, then in time, you can dismantle the rest.