In my first post, I spoke about how you defined father. If you have not read them I propose you go back and check it out because this one might make more sense.
I spoke about defining “father” in the first post and failed to mention that there is not a single human being on this planet, nor has there ever been, that chose their father. Prior to being born, I did not select a Navajo cowboy as the man who would raise me nor did I chose to have his 23 chromosomes that make my skin slightly brown. Oddly enough, just like many aspects of life, we were not given any sort of “say so” in this decision.
You might be asking; “Where is this going, Caleb? I know I didn’t choose my parents.” While understanding that who you are is important, understanding how you got there might be just as vital. As we grow up, that “father” that we did not choose instilled in each and every one of us anger, malice, rage, insecurity, mistrust, love, joy, hospitality, hope, and many more characteristics both positive and negative. Lets be honest; even if he was never there that absence allowed some part of who you are to blossom.
Now on to what we can have a part in.
In each one of us, there is a “gravitational pull” toward that person that our father raised even if it’s a sore, painful, and dark human being. Realizing what “father” is, what your history looks like, and who you are now may be the keys to a much-needed season of healing. I want you to reach real deep… I’m saying reeeeealll deep into who you are. What has your father fostered in you due to past interactions? Do you cling to different men because your father never clung to you? Do you work hard because your father always encouraged you to do your best?
Now I want you to separate those positive qualities from the negative ones.
Here we go. I want you to identify/acknowledge those sore spots in your life that your father instilled. It’s like a bruise, it hurts, its ugly, you want to cover it up, but what i want you to know is that bruises heal. The choice of which father we got was never our own, but who we are today is. I want you to realize that you are not the crap that your father may have treated you as, you are not the beast that he claimed you were, and you are worth any man’s time even if your father never spent any with you. Although every daughter and son has a “gravitational pull” to believe what their father wrongfully downloaded into the depths of their brain, you can defy gravity. Open your eyes to the bruises and taste the bitter truth of the history none of us could choose, but deny the lies that embrace your heart and break the chains that make you believe you are anything but beautiful.
Its time for healing but healing comes through truth and the truth can be painful.