Release Resentment: Choose to Forgive

Everything in life is about perspective. Good or evil, there is a choice we have to make when we look at every situation.
In order to see your relationship with your father differently, you have to view the relationship differently. In order to gain an unfamiliar feeling, you have to transform your perception.
Choosing bitterness against your dad for the wrong he has done to you is a heavy ball and chain on your ankle. Choosing not to forgive him, regardless of how undeserving he is, puts a heavy yoke around your neck. When he is out there collecting his jar of hearts as it were (like Christina Perri sings about in her song Jar of Hearts,) you’re falling under the weight of your disdain for him. Even in your denial, the truth you have buried beneath the surface eats you alive. Your soul cries and you silence it with your false acts of strength.
I understand your hesitance. But if you must do it for yourself alone, then do so. Forgiveness is more for you than for him, especially if he doesn’t care. Free yourself by loosing him from your hold of retribution. Let God be his judge.
Choose to release him. By releasing him, you release yourself. In order to release yourself, you must choose to forgive.
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” -Mark 11:25
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong. -Gandhi
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About Keila Harris

An MBA graduate with an unparalleled ability to keep a team focused on the goal with clear deliverables to produce for specific results. I am a self-starter. I began a nonprofit organization in 2012 called the DBMH Project, Inc. and then authored a book as well. I love the intersection of business and technology and solving problems alongside colleagues dedicated to their work. I like to focus on growth strategies through SMART goals and accountability. I believe power is in the execution of constant learning and open, humble self-improvement. Therefore I read incessantly and expand my network at every opportunity. #PayItForward #SuccessIsTheJourney

3 responses to “Release Resentment: Choose to Forgive”

  1. inmate1 says :

    What a great message. I have just begun a blog on behalf of my brother-in-law who is serving a 22 year sentence for the abuse of his children. What he did was terrible, I do not deny that. In fact, I was the one who turned him in. At the same time, I have seen over the last three years while he has been in prison the absolute agony he now feels as he has come to realize the pain he has caused. He knows he is powerless to undue the harm to his children. He can’t communicate with them, he can’t help them financially just tell them he’s sorry. Worst of all is the anger and hatred that his now ex-wife and two oldest children hold towards him. They live such unhappy lives because they can’t let go of the past and forgive, even though he willingly admits what a terrible thing he has done and vocally expresses that it is right that he is in prison. I hope and pray that someday they will find the blog I am creating (of his journal entries while in prison) and know how very much he regrets his actions. For any of your followers who have been hurt by a loved one, have hope that like my brother-in-law, they will one day understand and truly regret what they did.

    • Keila Harris says :

      That is a truly touching story and offers hope to those who are cynical about the possibilities of the realization of the inflicted pain ever hitting their dad. Thanks for sharing! This is the sort of thing we hope see out of our work here on the blog. We will be incorporating the father’s perspective in several weeks, looking for testimonials like this and others from dads who are sorry, feel manipulated/victimized, and/or still do not see the pain they have caused. Keep an eye out for that, we’d love to have your brother-in-law contribute during that time.

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  1. Respecting Fathers « Daddy Broke My Heart - October 3, 2012

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