Love is a choice.

Even though as infants and toddlers we were trained to love our blood relatives, as we come to an understanding that love goes beyond the words and hugs. Love is a commitment to put someone else before yourself. Love is a promise to look out for someone and keep their name from being marred or misused. Love is vulnerability.
Love is something we can help, simply put, a choice. Once betrayed, you choose to stop loving. Your vulnerability is treated as a weakness and manipulated. When Anaïs Nin stopped loving her father, you would think she would have found freedom from the negative energy of that relationship. This was not the case. She succumbed to what she describes as a “pattern of slavery.” A “pattern of slavery” to suppressed emotion, feelings of neglect, gripped in the chains of her own bitterness.

We can choose our friends. But blood dictates who is in our family. And even if we are never close to family for the better, we owe it to ourselves to resolve within ourselves why there is no connection. Furthermore we must recognize anew that love is a choice.

Love is not about the soft and fluffy nor the hugs and kisses and fond feelings. Love is tough. More often than not, love is tough. Tough love is about acknowledging the broken state of the relationship, and trudging ahead anyway. Tough love is honest even though it hurts. Tough love is hoping for the best for an individual from a distance. Tough love is difficult, that is why it’s called “tough” to start with. Even still, tough love is a choice to stay free of the “pattern of slavery.” When it comes to family, tough love is better than not to love at all. Remember, love is the absence of hate…and hate will surely destroy you.


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About Keila Harris

An MBA graduate with an unparalleled ability to keep a team focused on the goal with clear deliverables to produce for specific results. I am a self-starter. I began a nonprofit organization in 2012 called the DBMH Project, Inc. and then authored a book as well. I love the intersection of business and technology and solving problems alongside colleagues dedicated to their work. I like to focus on growth strategies through SMART goals and accountability. I believe power is in the execution of constant learning and open, humble self-improvement. Therefore I read incessantly and expand my network at every opportunity. #PayItForward #SuccessIsTheJourney

5 responses to “Love is a choice.”

  1. Kalebimbo says :

    Miss Kei,
    I agree whole heartedly. the crazy thing about all of this is the that lack-of-love (sin) breads more of the same thing and it is in love that we break this breading cycle. If you look at most families, the ones where love lacks is due to something that happened in the generation prior and the generation prior and so on. NO habit is broken until it is directly faced and defeated, which is only possible through Christ. This website is only the beginning… start changing cycles, start reversing brokenness, ignite love and let is become the consuming and uncontrolled fire that Christ always intended it to be. This is only the beginning.

  2. Sammie says :

    Keila girl, you already know. Anais Nin and I could be the same person.

  3. Keila Harris says :

    Reblogged this on Daddy Broke My Heart and commented:

    A worthy reflection on one of the first blogs written after project launch. Love is (always and without exception) a choice.

Trackbacks / Pingbacks

  1. Respecting Fathers « Daddy Broke My Heart - October 3, 2012
  2. True Love is a Big Deal « Daddy Broke My Heart - February 1, 2013

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